When I was deciding what to write about for my first new and improved blog, I did a little research into what people were asking about. Surprise! Potty training is trending. Why not-let’s get our poop in a group and get to it.
Why is potty training hard? Quite frankly, because it’s massively important to parents and not so much for kids. Sure, at some point no child likes sitting in ickiness but potty training is a pretty complex process. Break it down into steps and you’ll see why it’s hard to master:
1) The urge happens
2) We recognize it as an urge
3) We identify it as the potty urge
4) Our brain tells our body to go to the bathroom
5) We have to convince our body to wait and get ourselves to the bathroom
6) We sit down and then tell our bodies “now”
7) We listen to our body to know when we are done.
8) Get up, wipe, pull up pants, wash hands, etc. SO. MUCH. WORK.
I assume you know the basics about potty training (if not, no worries!-here’s a helpful article from the Mayo Clinic). Here are my five additional tips to get that kiddo of yours onto the yellow brick road towards the golden throne (haha! See what I did there?)
~Please, please, please DO NOT ever force a child to potty train when they have not shown any signs of readiness. Here’s why- they get stressed and develop new behaviors or regressions that aren’t fun either. It’s not worth it. Also, if your child has shown a slight interest but backs away from it, follow their lead. Unless there is an underlying medical, developmental or psychological issue, they will show interest in potty training when ready.
~Social learning is a great model for potty training. As a parent or caregiver, talking about the sensations of needing to use the bathroom and putting dialogue to it like, “oh! I think I have that potty feeling! It feels like a push on my tummy and that means I have to go pee!” is really helpful. Observing the “potty process” with a trusted adult is also helpful. Learning from a peer who is successfully potty training-even more helpful.
Potty-training-playdate-party!
~Incentive programs can work if you can stick with them. Sticker charts and treasure boxes can work for kids who are really task oriented or need external motivators. “Bullseyes” can be hung on toilet lids to incentivize those boys of yours. Honestly though, the best motivator I’ve seen is praise. Big, loud, authentic, exuberant praise. Get excited for your kiddo and they will crave more. On the flip side, don’t punish or shame. If it doesn’t work- kiss their forehead and simply say “we’ll try again. I love you”.
~Kids do best with structure and routine. When you start potty training, make sure it’s not a time when your routine is out of whack or when there is lots of stress in the home. Make it a normal thing: get up in the morning, go sit on the potty. Eat breakfast. Help clean up. Go sit on the potty. Dance party. Lunch time. Sit on the potty. Just begin to treat it as “what we do”. Also, consistently give lots of praise “I’m so happy that you sat on the potty when I asked” “You are getting so good at remembering our potty routine!” Kids will start to absorb the normalcy of it and it won’t feel like such a scary or intimidating thing.
~Give yourself lots of self care. Patience is a key to successful potty training but you can only have so much patience if you are taking care of yourself. Remind yourself that this is hard and that it will have some obstacles but your child will get it. Have a plan for yourself if you have a bad day; call a friend, take a walk, watch a funny movie. You can do this.
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