Happy New Year!!! I’m glad you’re here and I hope you and your family had an amazing holiday. It goes by so fast and coming into January can be like coming out of a fog back into the real world. If you ate too many desserts, spent too much on presents, got into a too-heated political discussion with your relatives, or indulged a teeny bit too much on NYE this is a judgement free zone. What happens over the holidays usually makes like Vegas and stays in the holidays. The new year, however, brings about new questions-where we are at in life, where we want to be, how close we are to getting there and what might be standing in our way. Most of our problems are solvable when we ask for help and do the work. Where we often struggle is knowing where to start. If you agree-read on! If you disagree-read on (please!)
So to get to it-“how do I know if I need therapy?”. Good question. Sometimes the reason seems very clear- major loss, abuse, trauma, ongoing relationship issues, mental illness or addiction are some examples. Often it’s less clear. We all go through situations that are challenging and all experience difficulty with mood, relationships or everyday things. Much of the time this is situational and fleeting. Other times it isn’t. These periods of time last longer (generally two weeks or more) and cause noticeable distress in our lives. Therapy is different for everyone of course, but generally we go to therapy because something in our lives is continuously not working for us and we want it to be better. It takes some insight and reflection to realize this, and it’s not easy to admit that things aren’t going as well as we want so we may push that thought aside. That’s normal. The thing is though, we can only do that for so long. Our minds and bodies are incredible things and they will give us signs that something is…not working.
We may sleep a lot more, or a lot less. Same goes for eating. We may find ourselves having more drinks than usual. We may lose focus easily or feel overwhelmed by everyday tasks. We may become more irritated with others or with benign things that usually don’t bother us. We may experience unexplained physical pain (headaches or stomachaches, perhaps). We may avoid people or things we usually like. We may be more emotional, or look for ways to “check out” or feel numb. Words like “stuck” “hopeless” “lost” “afraid” “bad” or “unworthy” come to mind. We may be bothered by repetitive and unwelcome thoughts, dreams or images. We may feel like we are in a cycle that we will never get out of.. We may do things that later we second guess and think “that’s not like me”.
Your child will likely never approach you about going to therapy (but if they do-please listen to them!) so with kids, it’s important to pay attention to the little things. Smaller children change a lot as they grow so sometimes it’s hard to tell if a change is expected or not. It’s important to ask their pediatrician first if you have doubts. However, once a medical or developmental factor is ruled out, many of the signs listed above can be applied to your child as well. If you find yourself feeling helpless or thinking “this is not like my child” therapy can be very helpful for both of you.
There may be other signs not listed here that it’s time to try therapy. You may not have noticed any signs but want to try it anyway. If you are asking yourself “how do I know if I need therapy?” maybe a good next question to ask yourself is “what do I have to lose by trying it out?”.
You deserve to feel like things are working the way you want them to. Have a great year!
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